Last week, the Enemy was having his way with my mind, bringing up things about my past that still stirred up feelings inside me. Immediately after realizing that his attacks were affecting me, I would begin to wonder Have I really made any progress? I was doubting this transformation which the people of my past told me was impossible. This continued to bother me all week, and then Friday night as I was packing my things in preparation for Masters Commission, I came across some things that sparked even more memories of the pit I was once in. I told my mom about it and she prayed with me and helped me throw it all away.
Well, Saturday rolled around and my family went to the mall, a place I once held sacred in my old life. Walking into the stores and seeing the people was a real awakening for me. I walked into stores where I saw people who I once would have hung out with and the environments I thrived in at one point in my life. Now, standing there in the mall, I felt like I was standing back looking at a painting of the World, and the life I once led. I didn't look at with a hesitant heart, regreting that I had left it, but instead felt relieved and victorious.
I won't be too detailed about this, but I walked into one particular place where I saw the very same crowd I once identified with. I stood there for only a few seconds as the sight of that life repulsed me. It felt as if there was a hand pushing me back out the door almost. As I walked away from there, the Lord told me "Don't doubt what I have done in you."
The smile on my face from that point didn't fade the rest of the day. I praise my Father for the transformation of my mind. Never did I think I would actually be able to walk away from that. I thought it would always be an uphill battle, but now I know differently. Thank you, Lord. And thank you everyone on CFaith who has been praying for me since my "Prayer Please..." post in the prayer request forum.
No stumbling pilgrim in the Dark, the road to Zion's in your heart.