Hi, many of you do not know me, I just joined the CFAITH COMMUNITIES site yesterday.  I  am going through a real struggle..  I know the topic of my post may put some off , but please prayerfully listen to my story.  I was saved at age 9.  My  stepmother led me in the sinner's prayer using our living room couch as an altar.  At age 12 I received the Baptism in the Holy Spirit.  I've always known that I have a call of God on my life, and I love Jesus Christ with all my heart.  I was never molested as a child, but I did have my first sexual encounter with another boy at age 12-13, which left me confused.  What's more, is I never really seemed to be attracted to females the way other boys were.  I fought homosexual desires all throughout my adolescence.  I just know God would deliver me, and set me straight, so to speak.  I even enrolled in a Christian school my senior year, believing that I would meet a nice Christian girl, and my homosexual desires would be a thing of the past.  That didn't happen, and instead I began the "coming out" process.  Eventually I stopped going to church or reading my Bible, and in 1998, I told my parents that I was gay.  What happened after that were about 2 years of gay bars, partying, and you can guess what else.  It was after one of those nights of partying, that I was alone, feeling ashamed, that I happened to turn the TV to Ron Phillips (Abba's House) program.  I heard him teaching about how the Holy Spirit had moved all throughout the church age.  I remembered back to how awesome the  power of God had been in my own life, and I missed it!   I bought Joe Dallas' book "Desires In Conflict" and I started attending what was then Central Baptist Church.  I read half of the book, and for some reason felt like Joe wasn't giving me the answers I was looking for.  I didn't want to be a "fighter", I was tired of fighting this!  I put the book down, and looked on the internet for "gay pentecostal churches", not thinking one existed, but BAM there it was!  I started attending the church in May of 2001, and basically have been there ever since.  I met another man there.   We "dated" for about 6 months, and had a commitment ceremony.  I've always wanted to believe that God created me gay, and therefore as long as two people are committed to Christ, it didn't matter if they were of the same gender,as long as they loved eachother and served the Lord together, they are OK.  Deep in my spirit though, I know that this is NOT true.  You see, my partner introduced me to Word of Faith, and people like Kenneth and Gloria Copeland.  I have been partners with their ministry and matured SO much due to WOF teaching.  I am beginning to understand what I've really known all along.  That if I take the Bible as God's Word to me, I have to do what it says and live by it.  I am am one of the ministers at the church that I now attend, and I also co lead praise and worship.  I have told people "it's OK to be gay", but I can no longer do that with a clear conscience.  Now, some of you may be thinking, 'well then just leave', 'you know what the Word says', and I will eventually do that, but I need guidance and stregnth.  I love the gentleman I'm with, and I don't want to hurt him.  He's actually contributed majorly to my spiritual growth, and we have a 5 year history.  Agree with me that God will show me a clear path OUT that will minister life, to both me, and my partner.  I DO NOT want to live in compromise to God's Word, blocking the BLESSING in either one of our lives, and I also don't want to hurt the ones I love.  I'm thanking you in advance for your prayers of Faith, and I'm waiting for your encouragement.  I need it :)

I am filled with honor that you would open your heart and share your sin and your desire to change with us.  Most of us would never put something like this out there, for fear of ridicule.  But you are bold...Bold in the Lord and your Desire to change does not go unnoticed by God.  About 2 years ago I was watching a program and there was a gentlemen on there who is a christian who was once gay.  He was speaking out his testimony and asking christians to understand what homosexuals go through.  He spoke of how God had revealed to him that his gay lifestyle came first as a result of his father's teasing and a broken relationship with him.  He grew to dislike his "manly" father and grew closer to his accepting mother.  Because of God showing him the root of the problem and then showing him how to be healed of that hurt, he was able to repent and be delivered.  He spoke so many things and I wish I could remember his name.  But just like this gentleman I saw on t.v. I pray that God will show you the root of your sin so that you are able to be delivered once and for all.  God Bless you. 

 

Dear Joey,

I am encouraged by your prayer request. You are so brave to turn back to GOD. I am finding a way home too.  I’m still mixing around with a bunch that the church will never accept. We drink, consume dangerous substances and involved in risky activities.

We are all behaving in this manner due to the role of reciprocity an interpersonal attraction: our tendency to return the kind of feelings that were shown toward us. Reciprocity is self-fulfilling because people who like us tend to reinforce and accept our actions. Therefore, we found our dignity when we mix around with them.

My pride weighted me down. As a health science *** psychologist undergraduate, I ignore my pastor’s teaching. I’ve not been attending church for the last three months. Despite, the encouragements I received from pastor and the pastoral staff, I am planning to leave the church.

I truly understand there is a higher calling in every believer’s life. That calling can only be fulfilled when we are willing, obedient and live our life solely for GOD. We are all over-comers in THE LORD, we will reach our goal: 1 Corinthians 9:24-27.

“Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training (building up in the word). They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we as believers do it to get a crown that will last forever. Therefore, we do not run like a man running aimlessly; do not run like a man beating the air. No, we beat our bodies and make them slaves so that we have preached to others, we ourselves will not be disqualified for the prize”

GOD Bless, Ada (from Singapore) Dec 19, 2007

Thank you so much for your encouragement and prayers!  I surround myself with the Word continually.  As a matter of fact, that is what my partner and I have had in common throughout our 5 year relationship.  I have seen the Lord do some awesome things in both of our lives!  His Grace and Mercy are so rich!  I watched a program on Joni Lamb a couple of days ago.  She had Dennis Jernigan, Matthew Manning, and the current President of Exodus International on .  I agreed with some things they said, other I did not.  Then I watched Joni's program yesterday because Matthew Manning was going to be on sharing his testimony.  After watching that program I posted my request on here. After posting the prayer request, I went to Matthew Manning's website.  Two things really bothered me.  First, it was that, they are restructuring the 'mission' of their ministry.  He says on his website that he doesn't like the 'ex-gay' label,  and that his ministry does so much other good, that he doesn't want to just focus on deliverance of homosexuals (that's the gist, anyway).  The other thing that really bothered me, was that he offered a 'free' DVD of his testimony.  I clicked on the link that said 'get a free DVD' only to find that it was 'free' after you sent a $30.00 + donation.    Another thing bothered me about the 'Joni show.'  Every testimony I've ever heard from those who have been delivered from homosexuality go something like this "I was really promiscuous, self destructive etc etc... then I had an encounter with Christ, and now I'm delivered.'  I've never once heard an exgay testimony from ONE person like myself.  Someone, who from an early age, has purposed in his heart to serve the Lord.  Someone who takes the Word of God seriously.  Someone who DOES have a relationship with Jesus Christ.  Someone, who didn't meet his partner at some flesh fest, but in church.  I haven't changed my mind about how I feel about wanting Christ's WHOLENESS in EVERY area of my life, I just need to get some other things off my chest as well.  Thanks for listening, loving, and praying

Josh,
       Thank you for your warm encouragement, and your prayers.  Your greeting me as 'brother' really means more than you know.  Please refer to my reply to SpeakTheWord, and feel free to comment.  I still don't have complete peace about WHAT exactly I need to do at this moment.  I spoke with my Pastor last night, and she said that there would be PEACE and GRACE to do what I needed to do, and right now, there is neither.  I have decided to wait until after Christmas to do anything.  The church I attend is doing an outreach program that is ministering to needy children.  All of these children are nieces and nephews of either mine or my partner's.  I really feel that NOW is not the time to bail.  I talked with my partner last night, and he was less than enthused.  He deleted the Joni Lamb show timer from our DVR, and really didn't want to talk about it anymore.  Anyhow,  please continue to pray. 

Hey Joey,

I have someone very close to me who is a homosexual (he "came out" a few years ago). I can't say I understand everything about it, but I can relate to (in a small way) what you're going through. I don't have any stunning revelations for you, but my wife and I will lift you up in prayer. I believe God will deliver you and show you the right thing to do at the right time! It's not going to be easy, but I know you can do it!

And I am also going to forward this peson in my life a link to this thread!

-Bisnut (a.k.a. Andy)

MY BROTHER- THERE IS A BATTLE BETWEEN FLESH AND SPIRIT. YOU MUST SOONER OR LATER COMMIT TO GOD AND YES YOU AND YOUR PARTNER MAY HURT- BUT THERE ARE HEALING THROUGH CHRIST. THIS IS A VERY STRONG SPIRIT TO GET DELIVERED FROM BUT GOD IS ABLE AND HAS BEEN FROM DAY ONE. TO BE HONEST-YOU SAID YOU DON'T WANT TO LIVE A LIFE OF COMPROMISE TO GOD WORD, BUT YOU ARE. WE LOVE YOU IN CHRIST AND WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU. I HAVE SEEN MANY SET FREE. THE BROTHER IN THE OLD TESTAMENT WHEN FACED WITH LUST DROP HIS COAT AND RAN, BECAUSE HIS DESIRE FOR GOD AND THE THINGS OF GOD WERE STRONGER THAN A FEW MONMENTS OF PLEASURE. YOU WILL AT ONE POINT OR ANOTHER  HAVE TO MAKE A CHOICE, TO SERVE GOD OR YOUR FLESHLY DESIRERS. YOU NOT ONLY BREAK THE LAWS OF GOD AND MAN. HIM WHO THE SON SETS FREE IS FREE INDEED AND YOU MY BR ARE NOT FREE. OUR LOVE AND PRAYERS ARE WITH YOU, BRO JOEY

Hey Joey,

God bless you man.  The only thing I can do is encourage you.  I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that there have been other men who have been delivered from homosexuality and their lives are not being lived to God's glory.  God is no respecter of persons, and if He's done it for another human being then He will do it for you.

Put your faith and trust in Him.  Stand on the Scripture that says with men this is impossible but with God ALL THINGS are possible.  He loves you and Jesus came to deliver you.  God's word says that you were already translated out of darkness into the kingdom of His dear Son. 

Begin to see yourself out of this lifestyle.  Begin to picture yourself living the life that is obviously calling you.  You have to get out on the inside before it will manifest in this outer realm.

Any information I find that the Lord tells me can help you, I will pass along.

Keep digging into the Word Joey.  The answer is definitely in there.  And don't forget to depend on the Holy Spirit, He is your comforter, your standby, your counselor.