Well,it simple....when my youngerdays i always active for religious organization...like C0LUMBIAN SQUIRES "ESTO DIGNUS"...KNIGHTS of the ALTAR,,,,then  i finish my education and start to look for a job in the city and i'm lucky they hired me for almost 1 1/2 years of service with excellent performance and it happen so fast my boss told me that i'm fired coz they know that im a member of Labor Union...and some of my friend set me up too...so i have to find another job..then i pray to Jesus to help me find a job coz it almost 6mo. so i continue to look for a job and nothing????...so then i feel i am falling and also my faith too,, and then  I tell to myself,,, if i am not heard there is something wrong with me I dont have enough faith...so that is ,it start my way my own way..i never ask jesus to help me,,,even to pray it,,, all nothing for jesus...I thought that jesus has to heal everyone who ask for it,and if not heard by the next time you pray there is a problem..... I'm arrogant,patronizing,self righteous,presumptous.....It show no love,no grace,no mercy,or understanding....then one of my friend who is a member of internet base  a website FRIENDSTER...and that friend who have another friend she tell me about JESUS....and then  I did not expect for this to ever changes,,for 17 yrs i did not think that the one i worship is the same...i only said LORD  i dont know if it is for Islam or Buddist, for Hindu coz i have a good job until now without saying JESUS....who died on the cross....he he heh...so i forgive myself coz for long years i did not think about it...everything  else he gave to me is just a bonus hihihih......Some people seem to think that god heals you on the basis of how strong your faith,how much you trust him , how much you know him If im not heard there is something wrong,i dont have enough faith but ..Its not wether you are heard or not heard its not being physically healed at all....FORGIVENESS is shown as more important....i am a sinner before..i repent my sins i've done against Jesus...and I believe that he DIED for me to pay for my sin.......